Starting Over

I’m middle-aged, haven’t been to the gym in 28 days, logged 20,000 miles while working every day for a month straight, I’m sick with the flu and my soon-to-be ex got engaged two nights ago, on his son’s 20th birthday.


Let’s try that again.


I’m a young 45, my fever has broken and I’ve lost 5 pounds while sick in bed, I’ve got a killer smile, get to travel to sunny and snow-free places for my job, my kids are healthy and well-adjusted young adults, I’m almost free of my spendthrift husband, and …


I’m ready to start over.


For the first time in my 45 years I can finally envision happiness for myself. I don’t yet know what form it will take. But I now know the difference between feeling fulfilled by making sure everyone around me is happy and well taken care of – and making sure that I am happy and well taken care of.


Our blogging headmistress -- who I’ll refer to as Scary Spice -- asked me to join this cohort of bloggers to capture a year’s-worth of reflections from women in transition. Well, our Spice Girl isn’t quite so scary -- she thinks squirrels are charming -- but still, no one says no to Scary Spice.

Of course, her request came around the same time I had pledged a year of celibacy, so she might have just been looking to add some humor to the group. (Sorry Spice. I must confess I’ll need to be starting that over as well.)


So this is the year, the month, the week, the day that I’m starting over.


I can't wait to see how the story ends.